Thursday, August 20, 2015

8.20.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Jared Fogle

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Name: Jared Fogle
Age: 37
Occupation: Subway spokesman
Last Seen: Indianapolis
Bee-otched For: being another pedo

Bill Cosby, John Balyo, Jimmy Savile and Gary Glitter all have another member to their little club.

Today, former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle will plead guilty in federal court for having sex with minors and receiving child pornography. He's expected to pay his 14 victims $100,000 each and serve a jail sentence of five to 12 years.

This is a dramatic downfall for a man who became a positive role model for many when he lost over 200 lbs. by walking to his local Subway for lunch every day instead of driving to a burger joint. He kept the weight off for years, but now, chances are that he'll be eating bread and water for a while.

A few weeks ago, an army of policemen raided Fogle's home after it was discovered that he might have had kiddie porn in his possession. However, it was linked to a former president of his Jared Foundation, which taught children proper nutrition. Now that Fogle is linked to the illegal porn and has been discovered to having sex with minors, it's safe to say that, well, he's one sick fuck.

Even worse, he has two kids and even a wife who is now divorcing him. As for Subway itself, it has cut all ties with the fallen spokesperson.

You know, just because you're a celebrity and a role model doesn't mean that you can break the law. Hell, if I met a celeb and he/she was doing something stupid, damn right I'm going to call the authorities. I don't care if you're Oprah, the law's the law. The aforementioned Jimmy Savile was a media sweetheart in England until his death in 2011 at age 85. He was a longtime host of Top of the Pops and even hosted Jim'll Fix It, a show that helped sick kids ala the Make-A-Wish Foundation. When Jimmy died, HUNDREDS of allegations poured out from people who claimed that he molested or raped them. One woman claimed that she was molested on camera on Top of the Pops. Jim's victims ranged from ages 5 to the late 50s, both male and female.

In the end, Subway will learn how to survive without Jared. Yes, the $5 footlong jingle is catchy, but I haven't heard it in a while. Hell, I think I see more ads for Checker's and Rally's Mr. Bag. He can't do no wrong because, well, it's just a paper bag designed to carry burgers and fries. Mr. Bag - 1, Jared - nada.

I guess I'll honor Jared's legacy by visiting my local Five Guys soon.

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