Monday, May 15, 2017

5.15.17 Bee-otch of the Day: Tim Allen

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Name: Timothy Allen Dick
Age: 63
Occupation: comedian/actor
Last Seen: Hollywood
Bee-otched For: getting canned over an outdated formula


After six seasons on the air, Last Man Standing has fallen.

ABC has canceled the show, which starred Tim Allen as a conservative man who was an executive at a sporting goods company. The show was ABC's second-most-popular sitcom with six million viewers a week. But according to the network, the show was canned because the contract between ABC and show producer 20th Century Fox had expired and ABC would have had to start footing the series' cost.

But some say that LMS was canned because of bigger reasons. Several months ago on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Allen, a devout Republican proclaimed that "being a Republican in Hollywood was like 1930s Germany. You gotta be real careful around here, you know. You’ll get beat up if you don’t believe what everybody believes." Allen was also well-known for cracking jokes about President Obama on LMS such as this gem where he claimed that his first job was indeed, President of the United States. Of course, Obama was a senator and lawyer before becoming POTUS in 2009. Tim on the other hand? Well, see that mugshot of him right above? Before he got into comedy, he was a drug dealer who got busted with a pound-and-a-half with cocaine. He ended up spending two years and four months in jail. The fact that he was busted with a DUI in 1997 didn't help matters, either.

I also grimace at the fact that he had fellow car nut and hack Jay Leno on his show as a semi-regular. I love the fact that they were also cracking anti-Obama jokes on the program. Ah, yes, Jay Leno. The asshole who fucked over David Letterman from hosting The Tonight Show and later fucked Conan O'Brien out of that position. Plus, the fact that he stole a lot of material from other comedians, even stealing Stuttering John Melendez from Howard Stern.

Yes, the right is fuming that Last Man Standing is gone, but the truth is, six years for a sitcom is a good run. I'll betcha that Mr. Dick will make a ton of dough from reruns of the show like he does with Home Improvement. Plus, there's Buzz Lightyear and Pure Michigan ads. He won't be hurting. Plus, I cringe at the fact that he's an asshole in real life. Years ago, a family member of mine told me that when he was in Leland, the small fishing village not far from Traverse City, she saw Tim Allen exiting a store and he ran as fast as he could to his car so he wouldn't talk to people. Yes, he's THAT down to Earth.

Maybe when Drumpf takes away peoples' houses and jobs, his fans won't be laughing at Tim Allen anymore.


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