Thursday, October 25, 2012

10.25.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Richard Mourdock

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on

Name: Richard Mourdock
Age: 61
Occupation: state treasurer
Last Seen: Indiana
Bee-otched For: dissing rape victims

Ladies and gentlemen, please turn your right-winged conservative bibles to the Book of Mourdock, starting at chapter one, verse one:

"For once, there was a young woman of 22 years named Stacy who was out on the street in the middle of the night. She was coming out of a gathering and going to her horseless carriage. She was dressed in tight clothing with a cut top and the smallest skirt money could buy. Suddenly, a black male came out of nowhere and held a sharp knife to her throat. The man ordered the young woman of 22 to bend over against ye will. He fornicated her to a bloodbath, tearing her young milky loins to bloody scars. The man disappeared into the night, never to be seen again...."

"Suddenly, the Lord God came out of the Light and awarded thy young woman by inserting a young child in thy womb. "My Father, why must..." "My child," said Lord Jesus, "I have given you thy child because, well, you're a slut and you're in the wrong place at the wrong time." Thy Lord continued, "you shall raise thy child or have somebody else raise it for you, only to have it knock on your door 20 years from now, sad and alone because it was raised by the system instead of a loving caring home. It shall then enter thy Military so it can fight for oil."

"But, my Lord," said thy Stacy, "what if I shall abort?" "Then you will burn in hell for all eternity," sayeth the Lord. "Sucks to be you, bitch." 

"I smite you, Jesus!" sayeth thy Stacy. "You're on your own you dumb whore," sayeth Jesus. "Excuse me, Pat Robertson needs to talk to me." The Light of Jesus faded into the dark of night, and Stacy was now on her own."

That's the sad reality of Tea Party thugs like Mourdock. During a debate on Tuesday, the Indiana state treasurer announced that life begins at contraception, even after a rape. Many felt that his comments were out of line; even Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney attacked Mourdock by releasing a statement condoning Mourdock's comments.

Mourdock, a Republican is running against Democrat Joe Donnelly, a moderate. Both are running to replace six-term senator Richard Lugar, whom Mourdock defeated in a primary before the election. Many Tea Party conservatives found Lugar unfavorable for his moderate views, especially on gun control and immigration.

Ya know, folks, maybe people like Mourdock oughta get himself a vagina to see what it's like to be a woman. How dare he use his wack-jobbed beliefs to tell women that under his watch, if they're raped, they're going to be forced into nine months of sheer hell kissing the ass of her rapist by having his child regardless. I hope that Indianians show this asshole the door on Election Day. A far right jerk like that doesn't deserve to hold any office.

So sayeth people like me, and any American whose IQ is over 75.

Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!
Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on!
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

No comments:

Post a Comment