Thursday, April 17, 2014

4.17.14 Bee-otches of the Day: Cumulus and Clear Channel

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Names: Cumulus and Clear Channel
Ages: 17 and 42
Occupation: radio giants
Last Seen: Atlanta, GA, San Antonio, TX
Bee-otched For: creating radio disasters
Ya gotta love a company that loves anything having to do with good 'ol country music (unless you're some Chicks from Dixie). It also explains why Forbes called broadcasting one of the worst occupations out there.

Not too long ago, Cumulus Media purchased the 94.7 frequency in Newark, NJ from the dude who told everybody that the world was going to end in 2011. Many speculated that the cloud would put rock on that 50,000-watt frequency.

But nope, they went with country.

Yep, country music. Like anybody in the New York metro speaks in a southern drawl, lives in a trailer and sleeps with his cousin. When Cumulus launched Nash FM January of last year, it was New York's first country station in 20 years. But of course, there's a good reason why: country doesn't do well in New York.

And the ratings are proof positive.

The latest Neilsen ratings were released for New York on Monday, and Nash FM New York is in 20th place with a 1.7. Amongst the stations beating Nash include three urban stations, two all-news stations and three Spanish outlets.

But here's a more-poignant question: WHERE'S THE ROCK?!?!

Sadly, New York has proven to be just as bad as small market radio when it comes to rock: One. Lousy. Rock. Station. And even worse, it's a classic rocker, Q104. It's shameful that New York, where The Beatles landed in 1964 and where CBGB's once reign supreme in the world of punk only has one measly rock station and they share nearly the same playlist as WKLT, the crappy-assed rock station in northern Michigan geared for white trash and old people.

Oh, I checked Q104's playlist, and I saw Charlie Daniels Band's "The Devil Went Down to Georgia". Yeah, that's a rock classic (not)....

I know, some of the people who run radio these days are probably saying that rock is dead and that they want an older audience. If people want rock, there's Sirius, Slacker or Pandora. My response is that they're right. As a matter of fact, I listen to Milk - Samsung's new service powered by Slacker exclusive to their phones - quite regularly and I love it. Plus, it's commercial free.

But the question is, will radio survive in 20 years, judging by the way companies like Cumulus, Clear Channel or CBS or even smaller companies like the ones in northern Michigan operate? I will tell you this: if I owned a business and somebody from a local radio station came in to sell ads, I would want to see their numbers first. If they can't, I'm calling the cops until they leave the premises.

What's even more cringeworthy is that Cumulus is trying to convert all their country stations to Nash properties; they already have it in Grand Rapids, Lansing and Detroit Michigan-wise.

All I can say is that Cumulus is definitely on the crackpipe for not making 94.7 rock. If it was, they'd be at least at a 2.7, not a 1.7. They could be beating WABC and WPLJ fercrissakes! But, nooooo....

But what's even more embarrassing is that Rush Limbaugh's new station in New York, WOR is doing even worse at a 1.5 while his old station, WABC is at a 2.4. Way to go, El Rushbo! I think calling that poor woman a slut did you well! Even his new station in Los Angeles, KEIB (gee, I wonder where those call letters came from?) ain't doing too well: .5.  I guess conservative talk is no longer a hot commodity.

Corporate radio: gee, they're smart!


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