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Name: Charles and David Koch
Ages: 79, 75
Last Seen: Wichita, KS, Manhattan
Bee-otched For: seeing their little political empire crumble
There's not enough Angel Soft or Quilted Northern to clean up the Koch Bros. shit.
But when they have one of their candidates running for president quit and two of their recently-ousted state reps try to weasel their way back into their seats, they might have to cut down more trees to get nowhere.
First up, Scott Walker. The Wisconsin governor has become the latest presidential candidate to jump out of the overly-crowded clown car of Republicans. With less than a 1/2 % of potential voters, he had no chance of coming near the likes of Trump, Carson, Bush or Fiorina. Good, since as governor of Wisconsin, he screwed over the unions and now, the state is in collapse.
Sadly, we've felt teabagger heat here in Michigan thanks to the lovebirds known as Cindy Gamrat and Todd Courser, the two state reps who were kicked out of their positions last week for misusing taxpayer money to hide their illicit affair. Now, the two are trying to regain their seats by announcing last week that they will be running again. The primary will be held on November 3rd. However, there's word that the two could be charged for what they did with the taxpayer money, which could equate to felonies.
OK, so how much you want to bet that the Kochs will heavily fund their re-election campaigns and they'll be back in their old seats, telling us that we need to defund Planned Parenthood while Cindy sucks on Todd's cock before she kisses her kids? If the people of Plainwell and Lapeer had a brain, they'd tell the two to fuck off.
Look, folks, the Kochs are worth BILLIONS. Last week, I was watching Early Today on NBC and I swear that every other commercial was for a Koch product. Ever see the Quilted Northern ads with the stupid toys looking at what looks like an old toilet? Dumb. I prefer Cottonelle and the cute British chick telling people to "go commando". But since the company that makes Cottonelle, Kimberly Clark spends most of their political donations on the Republicans, I avoid them too. (Seventh Generation is an awesome brand that is 100% Democrat and is sold at Democrat-leaning CVS Pharmacies).
All I can say is that the presidential election's next year, and I can't wait to see either Hillary or Bernie beat the crap out of the Repukes. Once again, it's time to see the Kochs spend their billions to get nowhere.
For that, they're going to have to sell a lot of toilet paper.
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