Thursday, September 24, 2015

9.24.15 Bee-otch of the Day: ArtPrize

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Name: ArtPrize
Age: 7
Occupation: Amway commercial
Last Seen: Grand Rapids
Bee-otched For: making people bow to the Devoses

Here we go again for another two and a half weeks of Artprize this and Artprize that.

The overrated art festival launched its seventh year this week, bringing thousands of tourists to the area who love and appreciate art.

It's too bad that it's brought to you by the fine folks at Amway.

Yes, those pyramid scheme-loving rascals are back at it again, awarding $500,000 (chump change to them) to the person who can conjure up the best painting or sculpture. To me, it's one important reason why I avoid downtown for the next several weeks. Want me to drive there? Kiss my ass.

You see, it's no secret that I hate the Devos family. They used to be the wealthiest family in Michigan until the Meijers took over. But the thing is, they're a bunch of vultures who'll do anything to screw over the people of Michigan. After all, they bought our state's asshole governor and they'll do anything to promote their false Christian values in front of others.

Case in point: the city's STUPID strip club laws, which bans all nudity. Many think that it was Judy Rose who was the brainchild of the laws. However, she *allegedly* got much of her funding from the Devoses. Why? Because she appeared in one of Dick Devos' campaign commercials during his unsuccessful run for governor in 2006. Since the law was passed that same year, only two clubs in Grand Rapids have survived the passing as bikini joints. But yet, because of Artprize, it's OK for an HIV- positive man to hang up a painting made from his cum at a gay club.

Oh, and I just heard today that a Michigan state panel wants to ban full-nude dancing in Michigan. Assholes.

Oh, and let's not forget that by marriage, the Devoses are related to the Prince family, who helped to fund the far-right-wing organization that tried to get Howard Stern off the air and the fact that their beloved son, Erik was behind Blackwater.

I know that I'm in the minority, but let's face it: I don't support a festival that's brought to us by a family that's corrupt and thumps their religious views onto others. Even worse is that WOOD-TV 8 will be broadcasting from ArtPrize for the duration from the Grand Rapids Art Museum. I'm still waiting for the day somebody streaks in front of the camera or screams either "BABA BOOEY!" or even better, "FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!"

In three weeks, it will be all over.
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