Tuesday, June 12, 2012

6.12.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Tim Poe

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


Name: Timothy Poe
Age: 35
Occupation: wannabe country singer
Last Seen: San Antonio, TX
Bee-otched For: being a traitor
America's Got Talent.

Everybody, it seems, except Tim Poe.

Last week on the popular talent contest show, Howard, Sharon and Howie were introduced to Tim Poe, a 35-year-old Afghanistan War Army vet who spoke with a stutter. During his speech, Poe claimed that he spoke with the impediment because in 2009, the Sergent suffered a brain and back injury when a grenade flew towards him and exploded. His speech pulled at the judges - and America's - heartstrings. The tears purely flowed like wine when he picked up the guitar and sang "If Tomorrow Never Comes".

Here's a clip of Poe's performance.

Of course, all three judges - including country-hating Howard - told Poe that he was going to Vegas. But now, Poe's integrity and career is on the line.

According to his military records, Poe wasn't injured by any grenade. Even worse, in another radio interview, Poe didn't even stutter. Of course, the judges on AGT commented that Poe didn't stutter when he sang, but then again, there's a man named Mel Tillis who could tell you why he stutters when he talks but not while he sings.

Poe served with the Minnesota Army National Guard from 2002 to 2011, and didn't even receive a Purple Heart for his supposed injury. It appears that Poe was simply creating a sob story to impress the hard-to-impress judges, especially with Stern and Mrs. Ozzy Osbourne on the panel.

On his SiriusXM radio show Monday morning, Howard Stern said that he hopes that the show's producers won't cut him off prematurely and that the people get to choose whether or not they want to see him progress further in the show. Meanwhile, Poe has apologized for his dumbassery and the producers have yet to decide if he will continue with the show.

You know, there's a lot of people who fought in Afghanistan and Iraq who hardly get saluted for their efforts, yet this prick decides to create a tall tale to shove his shitty brand of country music into AGT fans' faces. Christ, I would kill to bring back that weirdo who rode on a tricycle while blowing into the trumpet at the same time. As somebody who hates country with a passion (save for Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson), Not only is this asshole a disgrace to the military, but to country music himself.

Hell, he's a disgrace to America! Let's force him to move to Canada.
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