Wednesday, June 27, 2012

6.27.12 Bee-otch of the Day: NBC

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Name: The National Broadcasting Company
Age: 86
Occupation: broadcast behemoth 
Last Seen: New York City
Bee-otched For: not fixing Today today


For 60 years, Today has been the morning flagship program of the National Broadcasting Company.

The program has given us its fair share of legendary hosts over the years, such as Dave Garroway, Barbara Walters, Hugh Downs, Tom Brokaw, Jane Pauley, Bryant Gumbel and many others. Of course, it's given us lots of controversy behind the desk, too, such as Jane Pauley getting ousted for Deborah Norville in what some call an attempt to bring in younger viewers back in the early 1990's.

In the past few years, Matt Lauer has been its most-stable host, with Katie Couric and Merideth Viera coming and going. Now, Lauer's co-host is Ann Curry, whose life behind the Today Show desk might be coming to a crashing end. Heavy and hard rumors are flying that Curry might be willing to take a $10 million pay day to leave the show.

Rumor has it that many of Today's viewers are flocking over to ABC's Good Morning America over the fact that Curry and Lauer seem to have lackluster chemistry together. Another rumor has it that third-hour anchor Savannah Guthrie or even (barf) Hoda Kotb could be running for Curry's spot.

No matter how one can look at it, I don't really think that Today's problem is with Curry. I think that she's a decent anchor and has been an integral part of the show for 15 years. Heck, I think the drunk skank fourth hour boozefest with Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford is a problem (and rumor has it that if Hoda becomes Lauer's co-host that NBC is interested in hiring Regis Philbin to be Kathie Lee's sidekick).

In my honest opinion, the biggest problem that NBC has with The Today Show can be summed up in three words: JENNA BUSH HAGER.

That's right! The beloved daughter of this nation's most-hated-president ever is an education correspondent for the program. Weird, because ed-u-ma-ca-tion seemed to be something that Bush didn't know or care about. She also does non-educational stuff for the Today Show too, like an interview with Country music legend Loretta Lynn that just the preview of it made me want to projectile vomit.

Funny how NBC wanted Bush to be its education correspondent despite this legendary image of her:

Yes, you can be a drunk slut and be NBC's education correspondent. After all, thanks to Daddy, NBCUniversal parent GE is exempt from paying taxes, period.

But if I owned NBC, I'd fire Jenna since I sure as hell don't want a member of the Bush crime family to entertain or enlighten me. Personally, I'd rather watch a true Democrat like George Stephanopoulous (sp) over a drunk party girl whose father's biased stupidity kill thousands of people. Hell, I'd rather watch the extremely boring Charlie Rose on CBS This Morning. I'm a night person, anyway, I love my sleep.

If all else fails, NBC should re-hire J. Fred Muggs. Yes, he's still alive. 
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