Wednesday, June 13, 2012

6.13.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Middleborough, MA

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Name: Middleborough
Age: 352
Occupation: town of 23,000
Last Seen: Massachusetts
Bee-otched For: breaking the law
Oh, shit.

Oh, excuse me, oh, poop.

The small town of Middleborough, MA has passed an ordinance that prohibits profanity. Say one four-letter word in public, and it's a $20 fine. The new law passed 183-50 - I'll betcha that the only people who cared were old people - out of a town of 23,000-plus residents.

The new law was proposed by the town's police chief, Bruce Gates after hearing complaints regarding teens and young adults swearing in public places such as downtown and public parks. Many business owners complained that the cussing teens were driving away business from older customers. The town has had a bylaw against swearing since 1968, but it was never fully enforced.

OK, so what words can I or can't I say? Is there a verse in the Bible that prohibits me from saying certain words? The only verse I know that speaks against profanity is "Thou shalt not use thy Lord's name in vain", which basically means that it's a sin to be mad at God by saying "Goddammit!" or simply saying "Jesus Christ!" in anger.

Look, the only person who ever defined profanity was George Carlin. "Fuck", "motherfucker", "cunt", "tits", "piss", "shit" and "cocksucker" are the seven dirty words you cannot say on TV, but other words such as "ass" and "bitch" are still bleeped on occasion while "damn" is never bleeped. So, will I get fined for saying those?

Here's what I would do: if I was in Middleborough, and got fined, I would take my case to court. What these idiots are doing is a little something called "breaking the First Amendment". As shocking as it is, profanity is covered by the Constitution, especially since those words that the FCC call profane have no real proof that they're, well, profane! The Founding Fathers never had a definition of what we can or can't say, and guess what? That's way way it should be!

So Middleborough, FUCK YOU!
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