Monday, March 4, 2013

3.4.13 Bee-otch of the Day: David the Fluffer

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Name: "David the Fluffer"
Age: ??
Occupation: intern
Last Seen: Traverse City, MI
Bee-otched For: wanting to drag me into a fight of stupid proportions
Ever since I started archiving my Bee-otch of the Day articles on, I've gotten a lot of hits, but also a lot of complaints.

Some people complain that I go over the edge. One person recently complained that I shouldn't have linked 1980's new wave pop star Hilary "Drop Your Pants" Blake to my "rape fantasy" in regards to a blog post I made on Chris Brown. Another claimed that I shouldn't bash Chick-fil-A for their hateful religious views against gays. And a few even tried to put up scam ads. Nice.

But, in 15 years that I've owned a piece of the World Wide Web, I've never, ever gotten an e-mail or reply from somebody at WKLT 97.5/98.9 in Traverse City... until last week.

Early last month, I made this blog post about The Rock Station because their morning show, Omelette and Friends was ripping off Howard Stern. Not only does he have his own Wack Pack called "The Misfits", he also recently started his own version of The Intern Show in which his interns discuss how the show works and acts and so forth.

Lo-and-behold, one of Omelette's interns and Misfits left a reply at the bottom of the page:

my name is david the fluffer i am an intern for omelette and friens show i am also one of the co/hosts for the intern show. how is it that just because our show is called the intern show its a copy of the howard stern show is no one else alowed to use the name "the intern show" just cuz he dose what the hell is up with that guess what its a show that the interns host so its called the intern show do u want it called the ppl that dont get paid show whould that be better and i think when u compare the omelette and friends show to the howard stern show to me thats a coplement the man has millions of fans and is a huge show in the radio world so why wouldnt people want to have that why dont u come on the morning show or call in and say this stuff insede of hiding behind a blog.....i invite u to come on or call in to the show all of our contact info is on the web site 

Then, he continues with this:

we dont want u to call in to talk we want u to come on the show to talk 

Well, all weekend, I thought about this long and hard, through and through, and here's what I have to say to him:

Dear Mr. Fluffer,

I have (at least attempted to) read your reply to my recent post on your station, WKLT. I understand that you want me to come up to Traverse City to discuss the fact that your boss, Omelette is ripping off Howard Stern in regards to his Wack Pack and The Intern Show. I know that in the end, you'll try to make me have egg on my face as I'm walking out of the friendly confines of 1020 Hastings thinking that Omelette's the greatest morning jock since sliced bread.

However, I'm going to have to refuse your offer.

Look, I work 56 hours a week at my normal job here in Grand Rapids. Do you think that I WANT to waste a tank of gas at $3.90ish a gallon to discuss why I think he's a rip-off on a podcast that gets maybe 20 listeners? Hell no!

You see, I've always hated KLT. I grew up in northern Michigan and was forced to listen to their daily overplayings of "Brown Eyed Girl" and "Carry On Wayward Son" since they and what is now The Bear were the only rock stations up north. KHQ and The Peak - despite being Top 40 stations - did a better job of playing new rock at times. I became a fan of Howard's shortly before the Private Parts movie was released and it was then my life's goal to bring his show up north.

But, it never happened. Everybody had the same excuses: "he won't sell", "he's too expensive", "it'll make us look bad in the community" and so on. KLT had a new morning show it seemed every two-to-three years, and it wasn't because of ratings. It was because of constant budget cuts to please the bosses in North Dakota. Just ask Tim Murphy, the late Jim Ellis, Dean Berry and even Finster.

Now, Howard's on Sirius/XM and has drawn 23 million people to the satellite company. Now, his shows are on in northern Michigan. You can listen to his show on Sirius, watch Howard TV on cable and watch America's Got Talent on 7&4.

I now find it funny that the broadcasters up north cited cost in regards to not wanting to carry Stern, but now they're getting the last laugh. I hear that WTCM's paying at least $40,000 to carry Rush Limbaugh, and he was under a lot of scrutiny over calling a law student a "slut" last year. How classy. I wonder how many advertisers that station lost in the past year. Same goes with The Bear. I heard that they're paying Bob and Tom over $100 grand per year just to carry that show, and their ratings have dived in the past five or so years.

Now, you have good 'ol Omelette realizing that not everybody can afford the $15 or so per month to hear Stern. So what does he apparently do? Realizes that not all of his listeners know what a Howard Stern is, and rips off his ideas, like the Wack Pack and Intern Show. He's not the only one; look at Bob and Tom and Mancow. The only thing missing from Omelette's show is a female black sidekick and an executive producer with large teeth.

I know, WKLT's ratings are quite good from what I've heard. It doesn't mean that they're the best rock station on the planet, though. They play the same 200 songs over and over and they hardly play any new rock. I understand, the baby boomers are moving up north and it's allowed KLT to be more geezer-friendly and less friendly to young 30-something punks like me who listen to Sirius, Pandora, Slacker and others. Then again, look at McDonald's: their food is the worst food imaginable, loaded with preservatives that can cause diseases and cancer, but people eat it up anyway. Put a Mickey D's hamburger in a container for a year and it won't decompose. That's how bad it is.

Right now in Traverse City, KLT does have serious competition: The Bear, Real Rock, The Wolf and now Q100.3. Personally, I like The Q the best because it's locally owned and even the owner, Jerry Coyne approached me on what he could do to improve the station's image. He's even looking to boosting the station's power so it can cover almost all of northern Michigan. The station's in Grayling, so its centralized location would cause it to reach both Lake Michigan and Lake Huron. I prefer their playlist over KLT's since they have something you don't: depth.

I can go on and on, but you get the picture. I told you everything you need to know. Ripping off material is nothing new. I know, Howard's not the first shock jock ever. Look at Orson Welles and Alan Freed. But, Howard was an innovator. He got to where he is not by kissing ass, but by realizing that the listener comes first. It's too bad that your boss had to rip off his ideas to do the same.

The end.

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