Wednesday, October 15, 2014

10.15.14 Bee-otch of the Day: Jimmy John's

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Name: Jimmy John's
Age: 31
Occupation: sub shop
Last Seen: Champaign, IL
Bee-otched For: making sure that their employees don't get freaky fast re-employment
Let's look at the list of fast food joints to boycott: Chick-fil-A hates gays, McDonald's treats their employees like scum, Burger King's moving to Canada to avoid paying taxes in the U.S., White Castle supports the Republicans... Man, is there a fast food place that respects the middle class?

Oh, yes, there's a few.

But now, I can cross Jimmy John's off my list of places to go to. Known for their quirky advertisements and hip sandwich shops, JJ's has made it clear that if you work for them and you quit or get fired, good luck finding new employment. According to a lawsuit recently filed against the sandwich maker, current employees who leave the company cannot work for a competitor for two years (i.e. Subway or Quizno's) and they cannot work at another Jimmy John's for another year. This is all because of a non-compete contract employees must sign once they start working there.

Bear in mind that JJ's founder (and yes, there is a Jimmy John), Jimmy John Liautaud barely graduated high school and is a notorious big game hunter known for killing enough lions and tigers and bears to give Bob Barker a heart attack. They might seem hip, but Jimmy John's is just another right-winged chain restaurant that puts profits in front of people. Not to mention that the last time I ate at a JJ's, I got the shits.

So, there you have it. Jimmy John's is another restaurant I won't spend my money on. I'll betcha that a lot of their employees are living paycheck-to-paycheck and if they're let go or move, they're screwed. If making a roast beef sandwich is the only thing they're good at, they're going to suck at finding another job. I hope that Jimmy John himself realizes that what he created was a sign of pure stupidity and it proves that people should never work for those who graduated high school on probably an F- average.

May Jimmy John get bushwacked by a freaky fast lion.


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