Wednesday, February 10, 2016

2.10.16 Bee-otch of the Day: Michigan Republicans

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on



Name: Michigan's Republican Party
Age: 162
Occupation: the right wing
Last Seen: Lansing
Bee-otched For: leaving a sour taste in our mouths


My late great dear friend Dave Barber had a term for politicians who cared about things that most of us didn't care about: caring about the peanuts while the elephants walk by.

While 100,000 people in Flint are being forced to drink unhealthy water and 9.000 children in that city are now victims to lead poisoning - and let's not forget that nine have died from Legionnaire's Disease - Michigan's Republicans are busy making sure that you keep your mouth to yourself.

As part of a bill that would keep animals out of the hands of abusers, a Repuke senator from Grand Ledge, Rick Jones dumped in that sodomy between a human and an animal or another human is declared abuse. Under the bill, if you perform anal or oral sex - consensual or not - you'll be in jail for up to 15 years. 

The bill is called Logan's Law, named for a Siberian Husky who was abused when somebody threw acid on his face. The dog was blinded and eventually died. The bill would require non-profit animal shelters to do a background check on people wanting to adopt an animal. The bill had non-partisan support and was passed 37-1 in the state senate last week. Now, the state house will hear the case.

So what does eating pussy - the vaginal kind and not the feline kind - have to do with abusing animals? Nothing, but the reason for the terminology "humankind" refers to an old law Michigan has had for decades that was originally created to thwart homosexuality. According to Jones, the reason why the term wasn't released from the bill package was simply because "nobody wants to touch it" and that he would have to mess around with other laws just to change the bill which most people want passed.

But guess what? The nation's sodomy laws - especially the ones here in Michigan - are MOOT per the Supreme Court.

In 2003, the Supreme Court banned all sodomy laws thanks to Lawrence Vs. Texas. That case involved two gay men in Texas who were arrested simply for having sex. The Court ruled that consensual sex between two men are OK and that sodomy is totally legal in America. However, despite being a blue state, Michigan is only one of 12 states to have sodomy laws in the books.

This BS regarding an old law that has long been considered unconstitutional shows how fucked up Michigan's lawmakers are. Besides, I think most wet pussies are a helluva lot more edible than Flint's water. Sans those that contain STDs, vaginal fluid is known to contain special nutrients that enhance the licker's health. It might taste like sweaty gym socks, but if a man wants poontang, the high court has already said to lick it up.

Maybe the Repukes would rather have us die of lead poisoning instead.   

Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!

Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on!

Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

No comments:

Post a Comment