Thursday, February 18, 2016

2.18.16 Bee-otch of the Day: Playboy Magazine

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Name: Playboy Magazine
Age: 63
Occupation: once-beloved nude magazine
Last Seen: Chicago, IL
Bee-otched For: officially committing suicide


A few weeks ago, the beginning of the end started.

The final edition of Playboy Magazine with nudity was published and what a way to mark the end of an era with Pamela Anderson posing nude for one last time. Now, the first non-nude Playboy has hit the stands and the reaction is far from perfect.

The cover model is Sarah McDaniel, a popular Snapchat personality with the tagline "heyyy;)". Us: "Heyyyy, TAKE YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES OFF!"

The mag's first non-nude Playmate is Dree Hemingway, the great-granddaughter of Earnest and daughter of Mariel. According to sources, she was nude in front of photographers, but no nudes of her appear in the mag. Also missing are the magazine's Party Jokes section, cartoons and ads for adult-based products towards the end of the magazine itself. However, Dodge, a company that once shunned Playboy because of its nudity has an ad in the new 'zine.

Of course, the evil mastermind behind PB's switch is Cory Jones, a former editor aMaxim who is the magazine's Chief Content Officer. He claimed that because nudity and sex are available for free on the internet, it no longer gave the magazine an option to compete with that product. After all, eliminated nudes from their website and traffic grew immensely.

Playboy Magazine itself once had over two million readers 40 years ago. Now, it's hovering around 800,000. It had been operating in the red for yearsand even the Playboy Mansion itself is up for sale.

Of course, not everybody is welcoming the new changes and some have even canceled their subscription to the converted laddie mag. But one person is ROYALLY pissed, and it's none other than the founder's own son.

Cooper Hefner, the 24-year-old son of Hugh - who turns 90 in April - claims that he was ousted out of his father's own company by Jones and CEO Scott Flanders, even though Hugh was grooming him to take over the company. However, he told Business Insider that nudity was not the magazine's problem, but rather how it was presented. Cooper, now one of the heads of a company called Hop (and I wonder how he got the name for that little venture) released a blueprint on how he would shape the magazine well into the 21st century. Among his changes include getting rid of the beach blonde hair models, bring back "classic" and "sensual" photos and "nobodcares on how big they are".

Ya know, Coop has a point. Look at Suicide Girls and how popular that site is. They claim that they have more girls who want to pose with them over Playboy. Why? These girls are different, yet provocative. Personally, if I was running the Playboy empire, Photoshopping would be a thing of the past. Who cares if a model has a few stretch marks or her labia is a little long? Plus, what's the goddamn deal with airbrushing out anuses? Personally, I think altering a girl's image lowers another girl's self esteem. I remembered watching a news story from Australian TV about how a lot of women there are getting labiaplasties simply because the vaginas in nude mags over there look sexier than theirs. That's simply because of a stupid rule over there that bans images of gratuitous vaginal nudity. There's also a law that bans nude models with A-cups. Crazy, huh?

IMHO, I think readership at PB will indeed dwindle and in one years' time, the magazine will go back to nudes. They need to leave the PG-13 shit to Maxim. Now with Penthouse going digital only, are there any good softcore nude mags left?

I sense an opportunity. 

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