Wednesday, August 10, 2016

8.10.16 Bee-otch of the Day: Tim Tebow

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Name: Tim Tebow
Age: 28
Occupation: has-been football player
Last Seen: ??
Bee-otched For: wanting to pull a Bo Jackson

Yesterday, the sports world suffered from an SMH moment.

Tim Tebow, former quarterback for the Denver Broncos and player for umpteen different NFL teams has announced that he's done with football, at least for now.

His new vice in life? Baseball.

Yep! After being rejected from every team he's ever played in, Tebow is giving America's pastime a try. This week, he's inviting several teams over to check himself play. In high school, Tebow batted an impressive .494. However, he hasn't picked up a bat since high school.

The reason for Tebow wanting to play baseball is simple: his football career is over and he needs something to fall back on other than being a commentator for ESPN. But he needs to remember that just because you batted almost a .500 in high school doesn't mean that you can do the same at your slightly advanced age.

One reason why I think people hate Tim Tebow is simply because of his overexposure of his faith. After all, he and his mother made a banned Super Bowl commercial for the right-wing hate group Focus on the Family. Just sayin', it's not nice to tackle a woman, especially if it's your mother.

Of course, Tim's mother got viciously sick while pregnant with Tim and doctors urged her to get an abortion. Being a missionary, she declined, risking Tim's life. Well, Tim miraculously was born healthy and was raised to be a wacko Jebus freak. Now, I'm not bashing Jesus, but the type of Christian that he was raised to be is, well scary. One, he was homeschooled. I've read that a TON of kids who are homeschooled end up abused and even killed by their ultra-strict parents.

Now, I think Tim's mom is lucky that he turned out healthy and OK. Sadly, there's a lot of children born with severe illness or even without parents. If Tim's parents were rich, that's one thing, but when kids are born into poverty, there's many who wish they were dead.

Personally, if Tim kept his mouth shut about his faith and focused on his playing skills, he'd be the Lebron James of football. But changing careers because the NFL made you its red-headed stepchild shows that sometimes, he just didn't have much of a prayer.

Maybe he just needed to keep his mouth shut and pray a little harder.
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