2.26.15 Bee-otch of the Day: ESPN 2

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Name: ESPN 2
Age: 22
Occupation: the other ESPN
Last Seen: Bristol, CT
Bee-otched For: not being with Olbo

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Keith Olbermann just can't get along with his employers.

He first left ESPN in 1997 because of problems between him and management. He was fired from Fox in 2001 for spreading a rumor that Rupert Murdoch was going to sell the Los Angeles Dodgers (which he eventually did). He left MSNBC in 2011 over three donations he made to Democratic senatorial candidates and and fired from the Al Gore-owned Current TV a year later, which resulted in Olbermann successfully suing the now-defunct news network.

Now, he's got even more fish to fry with his current network, ESPN 2.

Earlier this week, they suspended Olbermann over remarks he made on Twitter regarding a dance event at Penn State University that raises funds to fight pediatric cancer. He responded to a student's tweet that read "We Are!" with "pitiful". The student linked her tweet to an article about the event which started in the 1970s and has raised over $114 million plus $13 million this year. Keith then responded with "PSU students are pitiful because they’re PSU students - period."

On Tuesday, Olbermann apologized for his tweets, calling them "childish". ESPN management responded that his comments were inappropriate and then suspended him for the rest of the week.

Olbermann has been critical of PSU because of long-time football assistant coach Jerry Sandusky who is now serving 30 to 60 years in prison for child molestation and deceased head coach Joe Paterno who knew for decades that Sandusky sexually assaulted young boys in the locker room showers. Olbo also criticized the NCAA last month for restoring the 111 victories JoePa had taken away from him because of the scandal.

Folks, I think Keith was right all along. These kids are honoring a school who had a coach who did something so fucking sick. He used his charity for troubled youth to molest them and his boss knew all about it. If I went to Penn State, I'd want out, and if I or my kids were to receive a scholarship to PSU, I would reject it. I know, they now have a troubled past and they have to live with it, like the NFL and OJ Simpson and the WWE and Chris Benoit. But when the most-legendary figure you have is somebody who held a sick secret and did nothing about it, then you have a curse that you'll not have an easy time to purge.

Here's an idea: now that NBC is no longer owned by GE and the management has changed, how about if Keith comes back to host the embattled Nightly News? Let's face it: MSNBC has canceled a ton of shows and their news division has turned to shit all because of Brian Williams. Why not? I think they can come to terms so he can leave ESPN and come back to the Peacock Network. True, they might lose some key advertisers (i.e. the Energy From Shale folks), but as long as he can provide the ratings and be allowed to do his cutting edge commentaries, I think it will work! True, Lester Holt does a decent job hosting Nightly News, but can he bring NBC back to ratings glory? Only time will tell.

Maybe if Keith Olbermann's employers give him creative control, things will go the right way.

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2.25.15 Bee-otch of the Day: the Republican Party

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY! BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY! Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com. DON'T FORGET TO "LIKE" BEE-OTCH OF THE DAY ON FACEBOOK! ---------- Name: The Republican Party Age: 161 Occupation: right-winged morons Last Seen: Washington, DC Bee-otched For: getting owned by Obama --- It looks like a ton of ground won't be torn up for oil. At least for now. Yesterday, President Obama vetoed the controversial Keystone/XL Pipeline bill that would have created the pipe that would go from Canada to Louisiana and would have transported tarsand to be refined. True, the Republicans all claim that the Keystone project would have created jobs, but it would have created more pollution instead since it's getting oil out of sand. Another good reason why we need to invest in much-safer methods such as wind turbines and solar energy that are better for the environment. When I think of the Keystone project, I think about some of the environmental disasters that have plagued the country for decades. Look at the BP oil spill. Look at all the fracking in Oklahoma that has given that state multiple earthquakes. Look at Centralia, PA, a town whose underground coal mines and the fire that still ravages underneath the city from an accident over 50 years ago caused everybody to move out. There's even a few ghost towns such as Picher, OK and Gilman, CO all abandoned because of environmental concerns. As long as the oil industry runs the world, they want the Keystone project to move forward. To them, it's profit over the safety of Americans. Remember, folks, global warming is a concern, and as long as this pipeline is not built, us Americans can breathe a little better. Last week, idiotic former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani made heads spin when at a fundraiser, he lambasted the President for "not caring about America". BULLSHIT. Without this pipeline, Americans won't have to worry about earthquakes or breathing bad air. Repukes also cry about the so-called lack of jobs being created. Well, people need to maintain wind turbines, don't they? Yes, Obama cares about us. He sure does a better job of caring than Bush, whose stupidity caused 9/11 in the first place. If it weren't for Dubya, Giuliani wouldn't be "America's Mayor" in the first place. Instead, he'd be just another Repuke asshole who shut down all the sex shops and strip clubs in his hometown who also cheated on his wife. Nice. The only pipeline the Republicans should worry about is being rammed in the ass by the Democrats. - Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ chuck69dotcom@gmail.com. All suggestions (except for me) are welcome! Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com! Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

2.24.15 Bee-otches of the Day: Clint Eastwood and Kirk Cameron

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Names: Clint Eastwood and Kirk Cameron
Ages: 84, 44
Occupations: actors
Last Seen: Hollywood
Bee-otched For: proving that being conservative and in Hollywood just don't mix

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Last weekend, Hollywood's finest came out to honor those who made this past year's best movies.

Of course, "Birdman" won top honors, taking home Best Picture, Best Director, Original Screenplay and Cinematography. Other notable winners included Julianne Moore winning Best Actress for her portrayal of a 50-year-old woman battling Alzheimer's in "Still Alice", Patricia Arquette getting Best Actress for her 12 years of work in "Boyhood" and even the Farmers Insurance guy, J.K. Simmons, won for his Best Supporting Actor role in "Whiplash".

Many of the folks who accepted their Academy Awards gave out some pretty rousing speeches. Arquette talked about women still not getting equal rights and "The Imitation Game" writer Graham Moore - a victim of teenage bullying - telling teens to "stay weird" when accepting the award for Best Adapted Screenplay.

But guess what? Despite being up for several awards including Best Picture and Best Actor, "American Sniper" only won one award: Achievement in Sound Editing.

It seemed that those who voted for this year's Oscars preferred Eddie Redmayne's portrayal of the young and sweet Stephan Hawking in "The Theory of Everything" over Bradley Cooper's take on the Muslim-killing Chris Kyle for Best Actor. Director Clint Eastwood, who has been a bastion for the Republicans since his 'empty chair' speech during the 2012 RNC convention, wasn't even nominated for Best Director.

But it wasn't just Eastwood that was snubbed last weekend. Former 1980s teen heartthrob Kirk Cameron did win several awards last weekend, but they're not Oscars.

His holiday bomb "Saving Christmas" won four Razzie Awards for Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Screenplay and Worst Couple for Cameron and his ego. To many critics, "Saving Christmas" is so bad, it makes "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" look like "It's a Wonderful Life". Many have criticized Cameron for his overbearing religious beliefs, resulting in other ultra-religious crapfests such as "Left Behind" and "Fireproof".

You see, the right and Hollywood just don't mix. Will Hays was a great example. He persuaded Hollywood to adopt his "Hays Code" which prohibited swearing and sex from the silver screen for over 30 years. Thankfully, it was overturned in 1968 because the MPAA adopted the ratings system which allowed filmmakers to make movies for their intended audience. But sadly, there's still censorship. One reason why critics have panned "50 Shades of Grey" is because the movie is simply a sanitized version of the hit book. Yes, there's plenty of flogging, but when it came to genitalia, the movie's producers made sure that close to nary a pubic whisker was exposed to maintain its R-rating so it can be shown in mainstream theaters. Funny: when a movie contains naked pussy, it'll get an NC-17. But if a dude gets beheaded, it's PG-13 and safe for family viewing. Well played, MPAA, well played.

The point is, Hollywood is a liberal land and when a conservative invades it, all it does is make people cringe. Yes, "American Sniper" made over $400 million at the box office so far, but that doesn't mean that it's a flaming pile of shit, either. Who knows? At 84, Clint might make a few more movies. Even worse, the worst might be yet to come from Kirk Cameron, too. But, bear in mind that "Saving Christmas" made waaaaaay less money than "Fireproof".

Of course both Eastwood and Cameron deserve Oscars, as long as they're shoved up their assholes sideways.   

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2.23.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Marshall Hapner

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Name: Marshall Hapner
Age: 41
Occupation: former hairstylist
Last Seen: Kalamazoo, MI
Bee-otched For: doing the Lord's work wrong

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The owners of the Kalamazoo sex shop known as "Hollywood Nights" are now doing everything to Turn the Page.

Last Wednesday, the store burned to the ground in sub-zero temperatures. Almost immediately, the police found their perp, Marshall Hapner, who was caught with an ax in his hand blocks away from the store. He fled from police, but was caught a short time later.

Hapner is now in a Kalamazoo County jail with his bond at $250,000. He's been known to have mental problems such as the fact that he's bipolar and will go through an evaluation before trial.

According to Hapner, he felt that he was on a prophecy from God to eradicate pornography from the city, which has several sex shops like Hollywood Nights and a few strip clubs such as Angel's and Deja Vu. Rumor had it that Hapner wanted to burn down the other places so God could give him a better spot in Heaven.

Hapner only has had one previous charge, and it was misdemeanor assault back in 1991.

Meanwhile, the family that owns Hollywood Nights have set up a GoFundMe account. They claim that they have helped others in the community over the years and didn't build their business on smut. Simply put, they used their business to provide themselves and their children a decent living. Sadly, they do not have insurance and as of Sunday night, they've only raised $255.

A lot of the time, I wonder why these fucked-up Jebus freaks even exist at all. Who are they to judge? I hate hearing about assholes who call themselves "Christian" and they molest children, beat their wives and beg people for money even though they're rich, yet, this family who put their hearts and souls into this business are now asking people to help out. Who are the real "Christians" here?

I'm a true believer in capitalism. Don't like it? Don't buy it. I just recently got my tax check back, and I just purchased a shitload of shit that I needed, like new shoes, plane tickets to see my mother, jeans, a new computer and so forth. I made sure that the majority of the products I purchased wouldn't support the Republicans, so I used the website BuyBackYourVote.com to help me. I don't want my hard-earned money to support an agenda that supports the destruction of the middle class. When a business does well, it doesn't need to be fixed. However, if it does, close up shop or tweak it to profitability.

Personally, I think Hollywood Nights did a better job serving the Lord vs. a lot of churches. They gave back to the community and let's face it: GOD CREATED SEX! Sex shops help relationships, not destroy them!

It's sad that a metrosexual douchebag ruined this family's livelihood by burning it down. I hope he'll be in jail for a long, long time for what he did. Maybe the judge will force him to share a cell with John Balyo. He could force Marshall to wear kid's clothes and be his prison bitch.

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2.19.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Mayville, WI Police Department

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Name: Mayville Police Department
Age: 170
Occupation: protectors of the citizens of Mayville, WI
Last Seen: Mayville, WI
Bee-otched For: allowing an old man to roam free

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It was 99 years ago this year that a man named Clarence Saunders decided to make the way we shopped for groceries a little different.

Inspired by looking at a train car filled with pigs, he created the first-ever modern self-serve supermarket in Memphis, TN. That store was called Piggly Wiggly. Before his little invention, if you wanted groceries, you would walk into a store, give your list of items to the grocer and he'd bag them up for you. With the self-serve concept, you could get what you want a little quicker. Today, there's over 600 Piggly Wiggly stores in 17 states and they're all independently owned and operated.

What a way to celebrate Piggly Wiggly's heritage by having a man almost as old as the chain itself crash his van into nine vehicles at one of their stores.

That's what exactly happened in Mayville, WI - pop. 5,100 - on Friday when 92-year-old Russell Kerr slammed into not one, not two, but NINE VEHICLES at the store with his 2007 Chrysler minivan. according to police chief Christopher O'Neill, his foot got stuck on the accelerator while trying to leave his spot in the parking lot. He crashed into three cars, then he backed up and smacked into two more cars. Then he shifted back to drive and smacked into another car, tearing off its bumper. Then he sped around a corner, smacking into a truck. In all, ten vehicles were affected, including his. Four of the cars had to be towed, but thankfully, nobody was injured.

The sad thing about all this? Mr. Kerr was not ticketed or fined for the incident.

Needless to say, now, we're dealing with nine automobile owners who are pissed off and are now hoping that their insurance companies will help fix their cars. One owner says that there's $2,700 worth of damage to his old Buick LaSabre, and it's a huge bump on the driver's side door.

You know, five years ago, I was waiting to turn left out of my residence onto a busy four-lane road. There were two cars turning right and the coast was clear on my right. So, I proceeded without realizing that there was a Pontiac Grand Am on the left lane coming towards me. It smacked into my front end. Luckily, the other driver wasn't hurt, but I was ticketed for not having the right of way. Even worse, since I had PLPD on my car and I was at fault, I was forced to buy a new car. Just this past week, I made my final payment on it.

So, let me get this straight: young man with a squeaky-clean record gets slammed with a $150 ticket for not yielding to somebody who wasn't in my sight, but a man who'll be dead soon gets off the hook for crashing into nine cars. Well played, Mayville Police, well played.

This reminds me of a 97-year-old man who crashed into a McDonald's here in Grand Rapids last year. I remembered him being interviewed by WOOD-TV 8 where he claimed that he spent all night watching old movies and only had four hours of sleep the night before. Therefore, he was fatigued and felt that getting his morning breakfast was more important than resting up and staying safe.

If I were president, I would force all drivers 65 and over to take yearly exams to determine if they're safe enough to drive or not. Also, it's up to family, i.e. spouses and children to take the keys from them if their driving has become unsuitable for the road. I understand that there's people in their 90s who are still sharp as a whip, but that doesn't mean that they are good to be behind the wheel.

Personally, if I had the authority, I would ask the Mayville Police Chief as to why Kerr wasn't fined for his reckless driving. He drove like he was on drugs! Then again, people should NEVER drive if their meds make them drowsy in the first place. So, who knows?

Old people, remember, it's a parking lot, not a demolition derby.

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2.18.15 Bee-otch of the Day: the major networks

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Name: the major news networks
Age: various
Occupation: so-called informers of the public
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: not telling us the real story

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It's been a week and a half since Brian Williams hosted his last newscast on NBC for at least six months, but it seems that almost nothing has changed.

While I think Lester Holt has done a decent job hosting the Nightly News, it's still the typical format of doom and gloom in the beginning and happy-go-lucky shit at the end. On Monday, they talked about the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary Special (of course they did because it's NBC, duh). Last night, it was a story about a man who plays music for his cows.

With the controversy surrounding Williams and his botched Iraq rescue story, some wonder if it's a good idea to even watch the 6:30 news anymore. Even Bill Maher talked about it a week ago on his HBO show. One thing that Maher pointed out was that last year, NBC News only talked about climate change for a grand total of 25 minutes while the rest of the newscasts are filled with fluff. Last night, they talked about a restaurant in San Francisco that charges an extra $1.25 on Tuesday nights so they can pay their employees benefits. Oh, goody!

Look, while we have Jim Cantore cumming in his pants over thundersnow, NBC - and other networks - don't talk much about climate change. Yeah, we here in Michigan are suffering with lots of snow and sub-zero temps, but where my father lives in Kentucky, they just got a foot of snow. If an inch of snow falls on the ground in that state, people freak out and think that it's the apocalypse. But, things aren't better further out west. Experts think that California will get its worst drought in CENTURIES this year. It might be cold here in Michigan and it's snowing like a mo-fo in Boston, but guess what? GLOBAL WARMING EXISTS!

But, I think there's a good reason for the lack of climate change talk on the evening news: this.

That commercial, plus the ones with some middle-aged woman walking across the screen talking about the greatness of shale and fracking is probably a huge reason why you don't hear much about climate change on the Nightly News. IT'S BECAUSE FRACKING CAUSES NEGATIVE CHANGES IN THE ENVIRONMENT, DUH! Look at Oklahoma. The state has had fracking for years and earthquakes are now quite common. That's right! Earthquakes in a state that never had them.

You know, there's better ways to get energy, like, oh, the sun and windmills, DUH! But as long as the Koch Brothers make their billions from destroying Mother Earth and Republicans running the show, everybody ends up doomed. Plus, we get to see more of the old lady singing the praises of fracking, less stories on the evening news about climate change and more fluff about the blind war veteran who drives a school bus.

Maybe that's why I'm starting to watch PBS NewsHour more. In the past two nights, yes, they talked about the major news stories, but they also avoid the fluff and talk about things that need to be talked about, like the fact that a lot of the gold jewelry out there is mined by enslaved minors overseas and the fact that more poor people are ending up in jail. Plus, there's no ads for fracking. As a matter of fact, one of the sponsors of the NewsHour is the IBEW, an electricians' union! Ooooh, an actual union!

Look, the evening news should be more balanced than the shit spewed on CNN, MSNBC and DEFINITELY Fox News Channel. As Maher said, there's a place for heartwarming stories, and it's Reader's Digest. Maybe it's also why most people who watch the evening news are old fogies and us young'uns are turning more and more to the internet for news. This isn't 1970 anymore. Want the news? Go to the web. Websites are open 24/7 and can be updated when news breaks. We don't have to wait til 6:30 anymore. But since the big three are run by big corporations, we get shit instead of the stories we need to hear.

Maybe we need to contribute to PBS instead of being sheep.




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2.17.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Saturday Night Live

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Name: Saturday Night Live
Age: 39
Occupation: late night TV show
Last Seen: New York
Bee-otched For: inviting a cancer to the anniversary special

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Well, at least Victoria Jackson didn't show up.

Sunday night was the 40th anniversary special of Saturday Night Live and it had its hits and misses. The Jeopardy! sketch was probably one of the funniest sketches on the show in any medium in years. But apparently, Lorne Michaels and his bookers had to have been looking at the whore ads to book some of the talent.

Sadly, former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin just had to come to the party, where she told Alec Baldwin "I like your brother better" during the Red Carpet Special. She even appeared on a segment during the show itself.

OK, so why in the fucking hell is the media still pimping this cunt? I mean, she was the mayor of a small town loaded with meth addicts, she only lasted two years as state governor and she has proven that she's a quitter. The last time she had a book signing here in Grand Rapids, it was merely the media event comparing to her last book signing.

I know, part of it was because Tina Fey did a wonderful impersonation of her, but guess what? Darrell Hammond does a great Sean "le tits now" Connery impersonation, but he wasn't on the show. Super sexy lezbo Kate McKinnon shines as Justin Bieber, and (THANKFULLY) he wasn't on the show (especially the abortion of an episode where he both hosted and was musical guest). So, why did SNL need Sarah Palin to show up? Why couldn't she just stay in Alaska and look at Russia from her house? She leaves a worse taste in my mouth than the bass milkshake poor Laraine Newman had to chug down during the special.

Thankfully, the special had other highlights, like the Californians sketch where Bradley Cooper kissed Betty White, seeing Eddie Murphy bumble his lines and the fact that Lindsay Lohan didn't show up. Oh, what happened to that 'NSync reunion? As-is, seeing Justin Timberlake was torture. Plus, is it me, or has Dan Aykroyd put on weight? He wasn't as peppy as he once was blending those bass.

But in the end, it's sad that Sarah Palin didn't join the likes of John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman and Jon Lovitz in the tributes section.



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2.16.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Victoria Jackson

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Name: Victoria Jackson
Age: 55
Occupation: washed-up actress/comedienne
Last Seen: not New York
Bee-otched For: not being live from New York on Sunday night

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It's almost hard to believe that Lorne Michaels' little baby is now 40 years old.

When the show that was originally called NBC's Saturday Night debuted on October 11, 1975, it made staying home on Saturday evenings cool. The hybrid of edgy comedy and popular music made the program stand out and many of its regulars became household names. Even those who only appeared on one season, such as Gilbert Gottfried, Sarah Silverman and Damon Wayans all became huge stars.

Sadly, there were a few notables that for some reason didn't quite become household names and faded into obscurity. There were a few good people and some, well, not so good. It's too bad Victoria Jackson wasn't one of them.

During her six years on Saturday Night Live, Jackson was the ditzy blonde who pretty much played the same person every sketch. Ironically, one of her most-famous was the "Love Toilet", where she sits on a double-potted toilet with Kevin Nealon. Nothing like taking a shit together since after all, Victoria is full of it herself.

Since leaving SNL, Vickie's career has been close to non-existent. So much, she became a born-again Christian and a teabagger who claims that President Obama is the Antichrist. Her comments regarding Muslims, gays and pretty much everybody who isn't white or Christian makes one wonder if she's making any money at all outside of TV appearances.

As matter of fact, she didn't appear on Sunday's SNL 40th Anniversary special for unknown reasons. She claims that she wasn't even fired from the show, but left because she accepted a major contract to do a TV show with a young George Clooney and had married a cop, plus raising a kid.

Meanwhile, Rolling Stone ranked all 141 of the show's cast members and guess where Ms. Vicky landed? #138. She soundly defeated Robert Downey, Jr., Jim Breuer and even The Muppets. Yes, as in the bland The Land of Gorch sketches that aired on SNL during the 1975-76 season. What's funny is that lesser-known cast members such as Emily Prager (who was a cast member who never appeared in a single sketch), Yvonne Hudson (the first-ever black female cast member on the show who has long faded into obscurity), George Coe (who was actually one of the first cast members but was let go because he wasn't young or hip enough) and Terry Sweeney are ranked way higher on the list.

The whole point is that Victoria Jackson is full of shit and if she doesn't want to pay homage to the show that made her a quasi-star, that's her problem. I think the world is better without her. True, there's former SNL-ers who are Repukes (namely Adam Sandler and Dennis Miller), but Jackson's outbursts make her probably the worst regular in SNL history.

If Chris Farley was still alive, I would have liked to see him bodyslam Vicky into the ground like the tables he crashed into as Matt Foley. Oh, well. At least there's Aidy Bryant to do that.
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2.12.15 Bee-otch of the Day: NBC

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Name: The National Broadcasting Company
Age: 89
Occupation: broadcast giant
Last Seen: New York, NY
Bee-otched For: making it official with Brian Williams

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On Tuesday, the world of news journalism took a huge hit.... Twice.

Within only moments of each other, it was announced that Jon Stewart was leaving The Daily Show and NBC had suspended Brian Williams from the Nightly News for six months without pay. Stewart has been hosting the Comedy Central show since 1999 and helped make it one of cable's most-popular - and most truthful - shows.

With Williams' temporary departure from NBC, Lester Holt is now the Nightly News' temporary host. On last night's broadcast, the "with Brian Williams" portion of the logo was removed and Michael Douglas' announcement for the show was replaced with one from a different announcer who said, "reporting tonight, Lester Holt".

It's not known how long Holt will be "reporting tonight" or every night until he leaves NBC.

Of course by now, we all know why the once-beloved Williams got himself into this mess in the first place, by telling his viewers that a helicopter he was riding on in Iraq was hit by enemy fire even though he was in the helicopter behind the one that was attacked. He apologized to his viewers last Wednesday during the show's third block, but it would be the final nail in his coffin, at least for now.

Since Williams' apology, people have been mixed as to whether or not they want him fired or not. Many people rooted in military matters wanted Williams canned, but some felt that it was one little mistake and he should have been allowed to keep doing the news. One report stated that before the apology, he was the 23rd-most-respected man in America, but then he fell to #135. On Friday, when NBC started to investigate Williams, ABC's World News Tonight beat NBC in the ratings.

Last weekend, Michael Moore wrote about the problems with NBC on Facebook. He said that while Brian Williams is punished, GWB is painting, Condi Rice is predicting the Final Four and Cheney is on the talk show circuit. And Brian's the one getting punished?

As a long-time follower of Mike's, he's definitely right. The fuckers who screwed over this great nation over the past decade are running around free while Brian Williams is the one punished. Did he mean to lie? Who knows! As I reported Monday, many who feel the effects of war or something as traumatizing tend to change the story as they go along. Brian is now the second once-respected journalist who's been affected by Bush's idiocy, just ask Dan Rather, who was forced from CBS following his report on forged documents. Now, he hosts a show on an obscure cable network, AXS TV (a channel co-owned by CBS with Ryan Seacrest, Mark Cuban and a few others) called Dan Rather Reports.

The irony of all this is that while Williams is probably sitting in his home, wondering if his career will ever recover, NBC's news division is one giant abortion. Meet the Presshas been irrelevant since Tim Russert died and Today has sunk to second place behind Good Morning America. Yet, the tragedy is that Dubya's little girl, Jenna Hagar is a correspondent on Today. Yes, she gets to do all those feel-good stories that air around the second hour of the show, despite this:


So, Brian Williams gets suspended over the fact that he could have been blown to smithereens during the war that Jenna's daddy created while Jenna herself stays on Todaydespite the fact that this photo of her drunk has been distributed all over the web for well over a decade. Well played, NBC, well played.

Folks, I grew up with NBC News. I didn't have cable TV until I was a teen, and where I lived in northern Michigan only had four channels. The CBS station (WWTV 9) was a little fuzzy while the UHF ABC station (WGTU 29) flickered in and out. However, the NBC station from Traverse City (WPBN 7) came in clear as a bell and their news department always put lots of focus on the area while 9 talked about a car-deer crash in McBain and 29's news department was non-existent (the fourth channel, BTW was a PBS affiliate, WCML channel 6). Therefore, Tom Brokaw was our go-to man for national news at 6:30.

NBC was damn lucky to have Williams. CBS had the snafu with Rather and suffered through three changes at the anchor desk since 2005 (Bob Schieffer, Katie Couric and now Scott Pelley). Peter Jennings died and they had Bob Woodruff and Elizabeth Vargas together (which ended with Woodruff suffering a brain injury when he was attacked by a roadside bomb in Iraq), Charles Gibson, Diane Sawyer and now David Muir. In 30 years, NBC was lucky to only have Brokaw and Williams as the sole anchors of theNightly News, but that might change.

In the long run, I think Brian Williams and NBC will break apart and Williams will go the Dan Rather route as mentioned. As for Nightly News, Lester Holt will stay put, making him the first-ever full-time anchor of a nightly news program of African-American descent. However, there is that part of me that wants to flip to ABC and watch David Muir. After all, ABC is not owned by a big, evil corporation like Comcast (ABC's owned by Disney) and their lead newsman, George Stephanopoulos is a proud Democrat. At least he's not a turd like Chuck Todd or a drunk slut like Jenna Hagar. The real person who needs to be let go at NBC is news president Deborah Turness, especially for allowing NBC to make too many bad decisions in the first place.

Maybe a change will do me good.

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2.11.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Toshiba

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Name: Toshiba
Age: 140
Occupation: technology giant
Last Seen: Tokyo
Bee-otched For: piss-poor customer service

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One of the tragedies of life is that the very computer I'm typing this on might be out of service in the next few weeks.

For the past three years, I've been typing the Bee-otch of the Day on this neat little Toshiba Satellite C625. It has a lot of neat-o features like HD display, DVD-RW drive, 4GB memory, 500GB hard drive and so on. Personally, I was kinda hoping to keep this laptop for the next few years.

But, not when the parts it was made from are pure shit.

A week ago last Saturday, I noticed that if I went on YouTube, the sound became distorted. I thought it was an issue with the latest upgrade to the sound card I have, but even with a downgrade, there would be constant burps in the sound. I even made a YouTube video of my situation.

After trying this, that and everything else, I decided to call Toshiba's customer service. Man, what a mistake that was. I called the line and on the other end was a tech named "Erly" who sounded like she was Japanese. I had a TON of difficulty talking to her about my problem and at times, I was thisclose to hanging up on her. Then, she told me that she could use an application to go through my system via the internet for $40. Now, my ex-stepdad was a tech and used to do this to my old computer from time to time if I had a problem. I told her that I didn't want to today, so she brought in her supervisor who THANKFULLY spoke good English. However, she went ahead and told me that if I went with somebody more local, I was going to spend up to three times the amount I would spend with Toshiba. So, I went ahead and told Erly my credit card number FIVE TIMES because once again, her English was abhorrent and she even told me that it was declined. But somehow, they got it right the sixth or seventh time.

Anyway, they looked through my computer and noticed the squeaks and popping, etc. So, they decided to tell me that the issue had to do with inside my computer. So, they recommended me to the nearest Toshiba service center in "Call-lah-mah-zoe" as the supervisor called it. She wanted me to call the number, make the appointment and they would call me the next day. So, I called the number and got an answering machine. I gave them a message and the next day, I tried again. Nothing. Even worse, Toshiba didn't call me back and the sound on my laptop was still sounding like pure shit. So, I did what I should have done all along: look for a local guy.

The last guy I dealt with regarding computers apparently has left town, so I found a guy on CraigsList. He wasn't far from me and he told me that he would diagnose my problem without any charge. So, I took the laptop over to him, and within maybe 1 1/2 hours, he told me the bad news: the issue was motherboard-related and if it were to be fixed, it would be like buying a whole new computer. I wasn't happy with the news, but considering that computers these days aren't designed to last over three years as-is, I accepted the fate.

But maybe what's sad is that my poor computer is made by a company from Japan and I think assembled in Mexico. But one of my friends on Facebook told me that Lenovo (the Chinese company that now makes IBM's old computers, like the ThinkPad) is a great computer. I checked on Amazon, and their computers cost around the same as the one I'm typing on right now. So, there you go. Once I get my tax refund back, the process of kissing this junked-up computer - which also disconnects itself from the internet for no reason from time to time also - shall begin. Oh, and Lenovo makes a lot of their 'puters in North Carolina, too.

What might be more ironic regarding my current computer is that I bought it from a RadioShack that just closed. (cue "Taps")


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