Thursday, February 19, 2015

2.19.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Mayville, WI Police Department

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Name: Mayville Police Department
Age: 170
Occupation: protectors of the citizens of Mayville, WI
Last Seen: Mayville, WI
Bee-otched For: allowing an old man to roam free
It was 99 years ago this year that a man named Clarence Saunders decided to make the way we shopped for groceries a little different.

Inspired by looking at a train car filled with pigs, he created the first-ever modern self-serve supermarket in Memphis, TN. That store was called Piggly Wiggly. Before his little invention, if you wanted groceries, you would walk into a store, give your list of items to the grocer and he'd bag them up for you. With the self-serve concept, you could get what you want a little quicker. Today, there's over 600 Piggly Wiggly stores in 17 states and they're all independently owned and operated.

What a way to celebrate Piggly Wiggly's heritage by having a man almost as old as the chain itself crash his van into nine vehicles at one of their stores.

That's what exactly happened in Mayville, WI - pop. 5,100 - on Friday when 92-year-old Russell Kerr slammed into not one, not two, but NINE VEHICLES at the store with his 2007 Chrysler minivan. according to police chief Christopher O'Neill, his foot got stuck on the accelerator while trying to leave his spot in the parking lot. He crashed into three cars, then he backed up and smacked into two more cars. Then he shifted back to drive and smacked into another car, tearing off its bumper. Then he sped around a corner, smacking into a truck. In all, ten vehicles were affected, including his. Four of the cars had to be towed, but thankfully, nobody was injured.

The sad thing about all this? Mr. Kerr was not ticketed or fined for the incident.

Needless to say, now, we're dealing with nine automobile owners who are pissed off and are now hoping that their insurance companies will help fix their cars. One owner says that there's $2,700 worth of damage to his old Buick LaSabre, and it's a huge bump on the driver's side door.

You know, five years ago, I was waiting to turn left out of my residence onto a busy four-lane road. There were two cars turning right and the coast was clear on my right. So, I proceeded without realizing that there was a Pontiac Grand Am on the left lane coming towards me. It smacked into my front end. Luckily, the other driver wasn't hurt, but I was ticketed for not having the right of way. Even worse, since I had PLPD on my car and I was at fault, I was forced to buy a new car. Just this past week, I made my final payment on it.

So, let me get this straight: young man with a squeaky-clean record gets slammed with a $150 ticket for not yielding to somebody who wasn't in my sight, but a man who'll be dead soon gets off the hook for crashing into nine cars. Well played, Mayville Police, well played.

This reminds me of a 97-year-old man who crashed into a McDonald's here in Grand Rapids last year. I remembered him being interviewed by WOOD-TV 8 where he claimed that he spent all night watching old movies and only had four hours of sleep the night before. Therefore, he was fatigued and felt that getting his morning breakfast was more important than resting up and staying safe.

If I were president, I would force all drivers 65 and over to take yearly exams to determine if they're safe enough to drive or not. Also, it's up to family, i.e. spouses and children to take the keys from them if their driving has become unsuitable for the road. I understand that there's people in their 90s who are still sharp as a whip, but that doesn't mean that they are good to be behind the wheel.

Personally, if I had the authority, I would ask the Mayville Police Chief as to why Kerr wasn't fined for his reckless driving. He drove like he was on drugs! Then again, people should NEVER drive if their meds make them drowsy in the first place. So, who knows?

Old people, remember, it's a parking lot, not a demolition derby.


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